Seriously?

I have recently become close with a family who practices what I find to be a particularly noxious form of evangelicalism. However, I believed it to be relatively harmless, until I began to see the signs of cult behavior and doctrine: obsession with confession and sin, demand for purity, milieu control, etc.

This family is, of course, deeply entrenched in YWAM, and most of them have at least completed a DTS. I became curious about the organization, particularly so after I came across Loren Cunningham’s name in the news recently.

For those who don’t know, there was a major scandal recently in Washington, D.C. involving conservative Christian legislators committing and enabling adultery in their fraternity-style “C-Street” house. Even more appalling, the house is actually tax-exempt, as it is owned by YWAM of Washington, D.C. and Loren Cunningham.

Pure vision, indeed.

Abuse is any ill treatment. This includes any hurt, harm, offense, rudeness, cruelty, or misuse. There is really no good reason or justification for mistreating people in any context. It is forbidden by God (see Biblical commandments and law of love for God and your neighbor). It is especially hurtful in spiritual contexts because people seek God and spirituality when they are in need or hurting already. Or, they could be wanting to help others and impeded from doing so, by themselves being mistreated. So, when it occurs in such situations, it is considered spiritual abuse, because it happens in a spiritual context and it has spiritual impact. This should be a safe place for people but because of power hunger or personal agendas, it is not always the case.

Spiritual abuse could affect your or someone else’s faith or relationship with God. It could make Him look bad to a person and turn their heart away. That is very sorrowful to God (see the Bible).

Abuse can be spiritual, physical, mental, emotional or sexual in nature. It depends on the impact on the person and the intent of the harm. It can impact a person on many levels, so it can be emotional and spiritual, or sexual, emotional and spiritual, etc.

Never should a religious organization or members be abusive. But, realistically, we hear about it all the time. These are the things, I believe, people will answer for at the Last Day Judgement referred to in the Bible. That’s just my opinion or educated guess.

Something to note: All the commandments in the Bible are relational. What I noticed is, the first three of the ten commandments are about our relationship with God, and the rest are about our relationships with each other. That tells me we are more inclined to sin against each other than God… or, there’s more ways to sin against each other. Or, it could also indicate that the start of sinning against each other is a misalignment of our relationship with God. I think all of these is valid. Another thing to note is that the Holy Spirit is sent to help us fulfill the commandment to love. We cannot do it ourselves.

Spiritual abuse is a very bad and shameful thing and it’s terribly hurtful. Some people never recover their faith. Some people become abusive themselves. That’s why it’s so terrible. You just don’t know which way our treatment of each other will go. That’s why we must be redeeming and constructive!

Hope this helps.

Also, over and over you all have mentioned “abuse”…what are ou talking about exactly?! Physically? What?! Spiritually meaning what-guilt? How? PLEASE be specific!!! I do not want to get myself into a bad situation…

Thank you!!!

Lauren

I wrote in earlier, back in ‘07. Recently, I have had some insight about narcissistic personality disorder in leaders. In fact, there was a fairly recent study done that showed that in a leaderless situation, overwhelmingly, a narcissist will step up to the plate and take over. Narcissists are self-serving, self-elevating, power hungry, destructive people who are often found in leadership in the corporate, social and religious settings. They are very damaging to groups because they setup abusive interpersonal dynamics through hidden agendas, competition, manipulation, lack of empathy and a willingness to cost others to get something for themselves… that’s entitlement. They are usually charismatic, attractive and/or gifted and possess basic leadership skills, like taking over and calling the shots. They have absolutely no regard for anyone other than themselves.

Recently I googled “narcissistic religious leaders” and gained alot of insight. This, I believe, is the root of the abuses we experience. The people that act this way think themselves entitled, more gifted, more valuable than others and will stop at nothing to gain power and admiration. They cloak their true disorder and twistedness with a religious exterior that seems caring or appropriate, and viola! You have a religious abuser! You’ve got the disorder with the cover-up. So it’s hard to detect. Religion is a perfect cover-up for personality disorders.

Anyway, this insight really put it all together for me. Now, I look for the narcissist in the bunch and determine things from there!